Self-doubt SUCKS!

So J is in his fourth week of increased training, with Shelley working with him (and sometimes me) three times per week.  It has been a bit difficult to arrange for lessons due to conflicting schedules and health issues with both of us, so she has been primarily riding him while I am at work. 

I had a lesson on the 10th and it was VERY tough, but I learned a lot.  It was mostly working on the same things as we have been doing, keeping him quick in the hind legs, keeping him straight and bending him through his back.  We started off in the walk, working on honest responses to the half halt.  J is naturally very lazy in the walk and keeps his hind legs out far behind him, so I have to remember to keep his rhythm quick, half halt and then quicken his rhythm again.  And then let him get unbalanced so I can balance him again, not constantly nag him for it. Then we moved on to the trot and canter, mainly working on a 15 meter volte.  I would keep him very straight through little vibrations through my reins, keep both legs on (which is actually hard for me, I usually want to keep only the inside leg on, so I have to really concentrate on this), ask him to "fall" to the inside with my (primarily) seat and outside leg and then ask him to move forward onto my outside rein with my inside leg.  It was very quick and very tricky, as J can be a bit of a lug sometimes, which doesn't always work when the rider is trying to have quick aids.  He will use any holding in the reins to lean on, even in the most lightest way possible, but it still restricts him from folding his hind legs up underneath himself, which eventually creates the collection that we need for 2nd and 3rd levels.  Shelley had me sitting the trot, which I hadn't done a whole lot of since my surgery, and I felt like I was flopping all over the saddle like a dying fish!  Keith (my husband) was there for the lesson (bless his heart- and he even stayed awake the entire time) and swore that I didn't look like I was having an epileptic fit, but it sure felt like it!  I did have some positive moments, but it can be a bit frustrating as Shelley makes it look so easy! 

Unfortunately I have not had a lesson since, although not for trying.  We are (hopefully) going to do two lessons next week, so that will be very helpful.  I have been riding J in the evenings, even the days that Shelley has already ridden him, so hopefully his endurance level will be getting better and he will be more prepared for show season.  I am in a stage of not feeling very confident on my own, I feel like I am just ruining all the hard work that Shelley has done with him, which makes me not want to try and second guess everything I do.  I really want J to progress although at the same time, I worry that I will not be able to ride him at that level, so what's the point?  I don't know... sometimes I wonder why I don't take up crocheting instead!! Ha ha!

Fits like a glove!

So with all the riding that Shelley has been doing as of late, she has informed me that my saddle needed to be fitted, as it was moving a bit side-to-side and making the rider get behind the motion.  I little background on the saddle: it's a Sommer Savoie Flextra, custom made for and purchased from Horse Of Course.  Marty is the professional saddler who helped with the design of this saddle and was the one that fitted the saddle for the first few years.  I was very fortunate that Marty made regular trips to the area, so I was able to have him fit the saddle about every 6 months.  This saddle has a spring tree, so it tends to need more frequent fittings, but it is worth it.  Then a couple of years ago, Horse of Course basically fell off the map, not returning phone calls, emails, etc.  I was in desperate need to get my saddle fitted again and they were incommunicado.  I was so desperate that I had a fitter look at the saddle who was working on other people's saddles in my barn.  I was not a big fan of his thought process on how to flock the saddle, but I really needed the saddle fitted, so he and I compromised on it.  The saddle was better, but not perfect like it had been when Marty fitted it.  Then I moved to Marengo, to a primarily western barn, and I was really on my own in regards to a saddle fitter!  My trainer had found someone that she had recommended, so about 5 months ago I gave her a call and she agreed to come out to my barn.  I was very disappointed when she arrived- she did not deal with flocking on-site and didn't really know how to work with my type of saddle (the spring tree) she kept saying the entire time that I should buy one of her saddles and that the spring tree was bad for my horse and would eventually break.  Then she put my saddle in some sort of hydraulic machine, squeezed the tree together and called it a day.  She charged a large amount of money and (stupidly) I thought it would be okay for at least a little while.  It is now 5 months later and my saddle is really ill-fitting.  So I basically went on the Internet and started searching. 

I ran across a woman by the name of Dawna Ullrich, who is a County Saddlery Rep and a master saddler.  I emailed her and plainly stated that I was NOT interesting in purchasing a new saddle and that I just wanted to have my saddle fitted.  She was quick to response and scheduled the appointment for the following week.  Dawna arrived, 10 minutes EARLY, and promptly got to work, taking tracings of J's back and doing a palpation and examination of his back.  She was very thorough, much more than any previous saddle fitter that I had work on J.  She then concluded that my saddle needed more flocking in the shoulder area, as there was way too much room and that is why the saddle was moving side-to-side.  She also indicated that the saddle had a rocking point, so she was going to fix that as well.  She promptly got out her tools and bag of wool and got to work.  I'll save the boring details, but two hours later and two rides later, the saddle fit like a glove!  It was amazing to feel the saddle actually fit correctly- it had been so long.  It was a bit of an adjustment for J and myself at first, but we got into the rhythm of things.  It was interesting to find that I had been compensating so much for the ill-fitting saddle, allowing my position to get in front of him, just so I didn't get left behind him.  So when I rode in the "new" saddle, I was WAY to forward! 

Once I got used to having a place to sit and sitting on my seat bones again, it made a world of a difference in staying with his movement and ride him more off my seat and leg.  I rode him last night and he was great- worked on keeping him very straight through the neck, keeping my outside rein down and away from his neck so he can't lean on it and use it to balance himself and keeping him quick to my aids.  He did a really nice job!  My lesson was (unfortunately) rescheduled, but I will have one on Saturday, which will be my first one back since before my surgery.  I am definitely ready!!!

Training Wheels Required

I rode J "for real" on Tuesday night, and by "for real" I am referring to anything that consists than more of a pony ride!  We did walk, trot and canter and I found myself very unsure as to how to even approach this.  I had voiced my concerns to Shelley prior to even getting to the barn and she reassured me that J would be fine if he wasn't in "work" mode and to take my time getting my seat back.  But of course, I was concerned that I would ruin all the hard work that Shelley had done with J and all the progress that J had made.  So not only was I dealing with being unsteady in the saddle, I was dealing with confidence issues as well... GREAT! 

Shelley had ridden J earlier in the day, so I knew that he wouldn't be crazy or act up.  I tried to not focus so much on his position, suppleness, roundness, etc. and just make sure he was forward and off the forehand.  His trot felt very different, very springy and bouncy, and I was even posting the trot!  I felt like I had terrible hands, like they were stiff and not as soft as they can be.  It took a few minutes to get my balance worked out, but seemed to improve.  Since his trot is his most difficult gait, I didn't spend a whole lot of time in it and moved on to the canter.  The canter felt great, although I found that if I'm not really on the correct seat bones, he will change leads.  The biggest difference was his canter to the left, where he has always been very crooked and throws his haunches to the inside and bends his neck to the inside (I picture one of those roly-poly bugs when I think of this).  But when I asked him to canter, his hindend actually stayed under me and I had something under my right seatbone!  It was pretty incredible!  And I didn't even have to beg him for it, as Shelley had done such a great job of making him understand that this is the way we are going to canter from now on. 

So all-in-all, it was a good ride in that I got my rhythm and balance back (for the most part) and I had no pain during or after the ride, so my body is telling me that I am ready to ride seriously again.  However I am a little lost in the saddle... I just don't know what to do to help him and what not to do so I don't screw him up.  I won't have a lesson until next Thursday, so I will fumble around until then and hope that J can be forgiving!

Bittersweet...

So I have not been in the saddle in 13 days, 18 hours and 17 minutes... or thereabouts.  Fortunately my surgery went well and I did not have any side effects or lasting pain.  According to many of my friends who have had this surgery, I am healing remarkably quickly and moving around much more and more quickly then they had.  I am trying to be really careful about not overdoing it so I don't have a setback, but that is a hard task.  To assist me in the feat, I have, for the most part, stayed away from the barn except for Saturday of last week, I went out with my husband and we groomed J and gave him some love (a.k.a. treats).  On Monday of this week I met Shelley at the barn and watched while she rode J.

Now this is the moment that is bittersweet.  At this point on Monday, Shelley has ridden J three times the previous week and this was her fourth ride.  J is having NO other exercise besides this, except for slopping around in the mud (thank god he is barefoot!) every day.  Shelley gets on him and as usual, he has to start off with some protesting, just to make sure that we all know that this was not his idea nor was this in his contract (LOL!).  But Shelley rides him through it, asking for him to be more active while staying straight through the neck.  She rides him primarily going to the left, as that is his more crooked side.  At first, the ride looks about average, nothing earth shattering or vastly better or worse.  Shelley then takes a break to discuss with me what she was doing with him and why she was doing it.  Basically the same issues we've been working on for the past few weeks- getting him more active in the hind end while staying honest up front, not pushing his chest into the rein and truly carrying himself.  While she is doing all of this, she is allowing (and sometimes asking) him to keep his head/poll really high and not encouraging (or even allowing) him to get round, her theory being that it is hard him to work more honestly as it is, why make it more difficult by asking him to be round.  Also, when he is round, he is more able and/or likely to cheat and push his shoulders forward instead of bringing his back up and hind end underneath him. 

So after the walk break, she starts back up again, but this time she puts everything together a little more cohesively and this time asks him to be a little more supple... and voila!  J has a fabulous trot hiding in there!  I couldn't believe my eyes- it was like his entire body structure changed, his weight shifted to his rear and he really started using his hind end and especially his hocks!  I had no idea that my little yellow horse was capable of this, I had only dreamed of him having this kind of movement.  Shelley did a few straightaways of a trot that was nearing a medium trot!  It was beautiful.  So at that moment I knew that we were on the brink of making a large step in training and I couldn't possibly go back to once per week lessons.  So Shelley and I discussed it and made arrangements for three sessions per week, two of those being rides and one being a lesson.  We are going on a month-by-month basis and just see how well he progresses. 

And ultimately this means that I will not be showing J in March, as I don't have an endless supply of cash.  My feelings are that J's training is more important than showing and we will accomplish more if I invest in his training at this point.  My ultimate goal would be to get my bronze medal and bar with J, and I already have the scores for 1st level, so I need to get him comfortable with the 2nd level work.  And neither him nor I are getting any younger, so if I'm going to make a strong push to get him there, it's going to have to be now.  Shelley thinks that there is no reason that J can't do 3rd successfully!

A Quick Update...

So since the show, my life has been crazy busy.  I am preparing to have surgery this Friday, so there has been many things to get done, as I will be laid up for a little while afterwards.  Upon finding out that I needed surgery, I promptly took care of the most important task, securing a plan where J would be worked and kept in shape.  So my amazing, caring and gracious trainer,  Shelley Day, immediately agreed to ride J for three days per week for the initial two weeks following surgery.  I am hoping that I will be back to riding after two weeks, but Shelley will continue to ride if I need more time to heal.  So that was a big relief to have that taken care of, and it will be nice for Shelley to ride J on a consistent basis without me screwing him up!

Shelley and I had a lesson on Monday, which will be our last one for a few weeks.  Shelley is really focusing on J using his hind end more and being more honest in the half halts.  He leaves his hind legs trail out too far behind himself instead of bringing his hind feet up and under himself while staying stretched through the neck to the bit.  And of course, keep his neck straight and ask his inside hind to step up under the center of himself.  So we asked him to keep his pole super high during the entire ride, which was very exhausting for him, but necessary.  He can be a little sneaky in the reins where he is super supple and can round up in a heartbeat, but he also can shove his shoulders into the reins in a way that the rider does not feel like he is using the reins to support himself, but he actually is. So we did lots of transitions with him, keeping his poll really high and demanding immediate transition and not allowing his shoulders to drop down and out the front.  He did fairly well with it and got to understanding the exercise pretty quickly.  We worked in all gaits with the same idea- poll high, super straight neck, keep his hind legs coming.  This work will make him have a more honest half halt and be more balanced which will lead to proper collection. 

My surgery is on Friday, so I have two more days of riding before my break.  Fortunately I will be able to go to the barn after the first week and at least groom him and such.  So it will be an interesting time!  I'm still aiming to go to the March show at Field's and Fences, so hopefully I will heal quickly and be back on in no time.  But it's a comfort to know that my barn owner and trainer will be taking such great care of him and I have nothing to worry about.

A good start!

So we made it through our first show of the season!  The show was at Fields and Fences in Gurnee, Illinois and we showed tests 1-2 and 1-3 on Saturday and Sunday.  J and I have never been to Fields and Fences, so it was a new place for the both of us.  We trailered in on Friday afternoon and J settled right into his stall with a flake of hay.  Keith and I set up the tack stall and then got J all tacked up.  The facility has two separate arenas, connected by a breezeway, so warm-up is totally separate from the show ring.  The facility is heated and the warm-up ring has a large heater mounted to the ceiling in the back corner of the warm-up ring, placed above the round pen that is used for lunging.  I decided to lunge J first, just to make sure he was not going to have any tantrums.  He lunged great, so I didn't do too much and took him to the show ring and mounted up.  He was a little cautious of the flowers that were placed along the seating area, but otherwise was very comfortable in the show ring and we had a really good schooling session.  He settled back in his stall for the night with his Back on Track leg wraps on and a big pile of hay in front of him.

On Saturday, J was mellow as could be in his stall and slept the entire time that I was braiding him.  I assumed that this meant that he was going to be mellow during the ride, however I was very wrong!  J decided that the heater in the warm-up ring was a torture device for horses and was going to eat him alive.  During our first warm-up, J did just about everything that did NOT represent dressage including spinning, running off, kicking out and planting his feet and refusing to move.  Despite all of that, I managed to keep calm and ride him through it.  I was really proud of myself for not getting frazzled and feeding into his hysteria!  He finally calmed down enough where I could actually steer him (somewhat) and do a few transitions, but soon it was our turn to get into the show ring.  As soon as the person in front of my saluted, I took him around the show arena, doing leg yields and canter/trot transitions, and he was back to his old self.  He's such a goofy horse!  We had some mistakes in the test, J was not as soft or supple as he needed to be and his tightness allowed for him to want to break to the canter several times throughout the test.  But I was relieved that J was able to keep it together during the test and not act like a maniac like he did in the warm-up arena!

So for my second ride, J was better in the warm-up arena, but when a horse acted up in the round pen (who was being lunged) J heard a commotion and decided to split- I lost my stirrup in the process, but stayed balanced in the saddle and got him back under control.  We then went back to work.  This test was 1-3 and J was more supple and honest, but we still had mistakes, mostly him breaking to the canter in the corners or anticipating a transition.  I must say that his stretch work in the trot and his free walk were both pretty decent, he is definitely improving in those areas.  But because of the mistakes, we did not get a qualifying score, but did get some good feedback from the Judge as to how to correct some of these mistakes.

On Sunday we showed test 1-3 first and J warmed-up pretty well.  He was still cautious towards the back of the warm-up arena, but at least not having total meltdowns.  I decided to post the trot in this test, as he felt a little tired and behind my leg.  Overall, he had a better test, although there were still some mistakes.  The Judge commented that this test was better than yesterday and I got some good scores on my collective marks.   Unfortunately I missed a qualifying score by less than 1% point.  That was a disappointment, but we did make too many mistakes, so understandable.  For the last test, 1-2, J was really tired and not wanting to put out as much energy as he needed.  I posted the trot in the test and while I thought it had gone better then the previous tests, as in not so many mistakes, the Judge did not agree as much.  According to my comments on my test, I threw the reins away throughout most of my test, which may have been true as he was tired and I was trying to get him to be more forward.  I did score quite a bit of 7's throughout the test, but unfortunately my coefficient scores and collectives were low, so that brought my test down. 

In the end, we ended up 1st in all our classes except the last class, where we came in second.  We also won High Point Champion on Saturday, so that was really nice!  I did not get a qualifying score for 1st level, which was a disappointment.  But I was happy with the way I rode J.  I felt that I was an active rider, not a passenger and I corrected mistakes instead of letting him get away with them, afraid to make a scene in the show ring.  I was proud of handling his meltdowns in the warm-up ring and pushing on to the show ring, in the past I probably would have scratched after such a terrible warm-up, or at least let the warm-up negatively effect my test.  I have definitely obtained the confidence to know that I can handle whatever he throws at me and my seat is going to stay in the saddle!  So all in all, it was a good start to the show season. 

Unfortunately I recently received news that I have to have laparascopic surgery.  The doctor is predicting that I will be off from riding for 2 weeks.  So I have already made arrangements for Shelley to ride J while I am "off" and I am still hoping to show at the next Fields and Fences show in March, but that will all depend on how fast I can heal.  The surgery is scheduled for February 10th, so I have some time to ride and work on some of the stuff from the show before then. 



J's blue ribbons from Saturday



J settled back home with his blue ribbons and high point ribbon!



So much FUN!

Despite dealing with more of my health issues, resulting in less riding over the past week, J has really been making progress!  Shelley rode him for me on Monday and she emailed me that night, stating that she did all the movements from the 2nd level test 3 and that he can do them!  She added that he is truly collecting himself and is much more correct!  It was so exciting to hear that.  Shelley is a perfectionist and works really hard, so I know that when she is excited and pleased with a horse, it means something!

So I was able to get to the barn last night to ride and my face hurt when we were done, which I attribute to smiling the entire ride, but it could have also been the cold! LOL!  He just feels so great- carrying himself, responsive to smaller aids, balanced and supple.  It is just so much FUN!  Sometimes I catch myself giggling like a little girl!  It's amazing how great it is to ride a horse that is truly in self-carriage and he is happy to do it!

So last night I worked on some of the 1st level work (leg yields of varying steepness, voltes and lengthenings), then some shoulder-in in the trot and canter (varying amount of angle while keeping his impulsion up) and did some turn on the forehand work in the walk and trot.  He felt so amazing, like he just took a giant leap forward in his training and it feels like it happened over night.  But I know we have worked hard for this and it has taken so much time, but we are getting there!

I entered the show at Fields and Fences at the end of the month.  I am SO excited for it.  If his work keeps at this level and he keeps a cool head about him, we should have no problem getting a qualifying score for regionals.  That is my ultimate goal for this next show, but I also want to ride every step of every ride and not give away any points on stupid things.

Great lesson!

I had a lesson with Shelley on Monday and when I started getting a major migraine earlier in the day, I was very upset that I wouldn't be riding my best for the lesson.  Fortunately a friend gave me some Excedrin migraine and it took the edge off, so I was able to focus for the lesson. I have been dealing with constant headaches and/or migraines for the past few months and it has been really frustrating.  But I am now taking medications that will hopefully lesson the occurrence and intensity of them.

So usually Shelley rides him in the beginning of the lesson, which I really appreciate her doing for two reasons. 1) She gets him quicker to the aids and 2) I learn very visually and if I am able to see her doing it, it helps me in understanding what needs to be done.  But for this lesson, Shelley asked that I ride for the entire lesson as her back has been bothering her again.  So I was able to ride the entire lesson and really work on the exercises.  As stated previously, J has a false bend to the left and that is something that we are really trying to address as he will need to be honest in order to correctly do the 2nd level work.  We are also trying to get J's shoulders up to meet the reins while he is bending his back, which is also a strength issue.  When he bends his back correctly, he wants to get slow in his hind end, which then puts him on the forehand.  So to deal with all these issues, Shelley had me do and exercise that was very challenging for both J and myself.  I had to turn J to the inside with my inside rein (just a small bit, nothing dramatic), then use my inside leg behind the girth to push his inside hind up underneath him and then use my inside leg up near his shoulder to drive the inside shoulder up and forward to meet the bridle.  All the while keeping a very stable outside leg and outside rein, doing absolutely nothing with either one.  And then repeat about 1 million times, on both a circle and the straightaway.  We started to the right, which is easier for both J and myself and we got pretty good.  We did some nice work and J was getting more and more responsive to smaller aids.  Then we went to the left, which is our weak side.  It's a bit of the "chicken or the egg" case... I have a hard time keeping my right seat bone in the saddle while I'm using my inside (left) leg, so when I use that inside leg, he falls out to the right and doesn't turn correctly or move his shoulder.  Which came first?  I don't know, but I'm willing to take the blame on that one.  So we went to the left and J was resistant, kept wanting to fold his neck up like an accordion (to the left) and fall down on his left (inside) shoulder.  I would use my leg to ask him to stand up on his shoulder and go forward and he would get pissy and just stop.  So it took a little while of asking and waiting, but he did finally understand that I was not going to give up.  We did this in the walk and trot and then took a break and worked on some trot lengthenings across the diagonal.  Shelley had me counterflex/counter leg yield him through the short side, straighten him on the diagonal, stretch his neck and then ask for the lengthening, while re-stretching his neck every couple of strides.  I found that if he was crooked in any way, leaning on either rein or had his neck too short he would either fall onto the forehand or break into the canter.  But I think that we got some decent lengthenings that I won't be ashamed to show at the end of the month.

After getting some good lengthenings, we went back to the previous exercise and J was much quicker to get to task.  We went back to the left, as that is the more difficult way and worked in the canter.  We actually did pretty well!  J was actually turning and moving his hind end underneath himself and then I would rein-yield him out and ask again.  We were even doing very small volte's- probably on a 6 meter circle and he was keeping his balance and keeping tempo.  Shelley had me do a couple walk/canter/walk transitions from this exaggerated shoulder-in positioning.

All-in-all it was a great lesson!  I felt that I was moving well with him, not hindering him as much in my seat and reins and getting better at not giving him static aids where he would tune me out when I applied an aid that I actually meant.  We have come a long way in the past few months and I really look forward to this show season!

Full Steam Ahead!

So J has now been on the magnesium supplement for a few weeks and he has shown definite improvement that even my barn owner and trainer have commented about.  His muscles are less twitchy and tight, he has a better attitude and is much more forward from the very beginning of the ride.  It is pretty amazing that this little bit of supplement can make such a huge difference in a horse!  It's a relief to have my horse back.

We are still working on the same things- trying to keep him bent correctly through his back, loading his hind end and keep his neck straight and stretched.  Shelley rode him last week and the biggest issue was his false bend while tracking to the left.  I directly contribute this to my riding flaws, which I am trying to correct.  While going to the left, I tend to collapse my inside hip, which then takes my right seatbone out of the saddle.  Then when I use my inside leg to ask for bend, he just falls out the right side or if I use my outside aids to ask for a turn, he is either ignoring the aid or falling in.  So I have been really trying to be more aware of this and keep both seatbones in the saddle and no collapse.  It definitely makes an immediate difference!  It's a work in progress.

I must say that our first level work is really coming along.  His canter lengthening to the left is really doing better- he sits back and really lifts with the shoulder- it is such a great feeling!  And best of all, he is coming back to me really nicely while staying supple.  The canter lengthening to the right isn't as reliable, but we are working on it.  His leg yields are really improving as well.  He is keeping his balance point farther back and becoming more adjustable in his lateral work.  In the 1-3 test, it calls to come around the short side of the arena and then immediately from the corner to the center line of the arena, so the problem was that he was crooked in the turn and then I didn't have enough time to straighten him, flex him in the new direction and then leg yield and get to the center line.  Or else he would run out of impulsion and it was not flowing.  But now he is much more responsive and active, which makes it fairly easy!  So that is really exciting!

I have no doubt that we will be ready to do our freestyle this year, which I am really looking forward to finally using my movement and showing it!  I am all ready to show 1-2 and 1-3 at Fields and Fences at the end of the month and hopefully I can get one qualifying score that weekend.  Then I'm shooting for the Fields and Fences show in March for (hopefully) my second qualifying score and then I can start working on my freestyle to show in the spring.  My show season goal is to qualify for regionals at 1st level AA and 1st level freestyle and to compete at Region 2 championships, which are being held at the Kentucky Horse Park.